When Love Becomes Overlove
When Love Becomes Overlove: Real Moments That Show How We’re Making Our Kids Less Capable
A few days ago, I was standing outside my daughter’s school gate. Children were rushing out—laughing, pushing, running, sweating. But right behind them came a group slowly dragging themselves, asking parents to carry their bags, complaining about the heat, and waiting to be comforted.
That moment stayed with me.
Because we all want the same thing:
healthy, confident, capable children.
But somewhere in our attempt to give them the “best,” we are unknowingly taking away the very experiences that help them grow.
This blog is not a lecture.
It is a collection of real-life scenes—moments that opened my eyes and made me reflect deeply on modern parenting.
Scene 1: “Mumma, AC on kar do… please!”
Every evening, I encourage my son to go outside and play.
Run a little. Sweat a little.
Just be a child.
But his reply is the same every day:
“Mumma, bahar garmi hai… AC on kar do na.”
I see this everywhere:
Kids who refuse to play because it’s hot
Kids who avoid climbing stairs
Kids who get tired walking even short distances
Kids who want constant comfort—AC, water, snacks, cushions
And we wonder why their stamina is low.
The truth?
Children today are not lazy. They are over-comforted.
Comfort is good, but excess comfort kills effort.
Just 60 minutes of daily physical activity can transform a child’s energy levels.
Let them sweat. Sweat is not the enemy; stagnation is.
Scene 2: The Fall That Never Happened
One Sunday, I was at the park. A boy ran towards the slide, tripped slightly, and before he even touched the ground, three adults rushed to catch him.
He didn’t fall.
But he also didn’t learn how to get up.
We say, “Kids should be tough!”
But we don’t allow them to fall—physically or emotionally.
When we stop every fall, protect them from every discomfort, and wipe every tear before it even forms, we take away their chance to build:
Courage
Balance
Problem-solving
Resilience
Toughness comes from two powerful experiences:
1. Falling
2. Getting up on their own
Let them fall sometimes.
Let them cry a little.
Let them understand that they can survive discomfort.
Small falls prepare them for big rises.
Scene 3: The Puzzle We Solved… and the Skill We Ruined
A few months ago, I watched my daughter trying to solve a puzzle.
She kept rotating pieces, thinking, trying, retrying…
And in two minutes, I felt the classic parent itch:
“Arre… I’ll just do it for her.”
I solved it.
And do you know what happened next time?
She handed the puzzle straight to me and said,
“Mumma, you do it.”
That day I realised something heartbreaking:
In trying to help, I had taken away her chance to learn.
Struggle is not bad.
Struggle is learning.
When we jump in too soon, we interrupt the brain’s natural development process.
Now I sit with her, but I don’t touch the puzzle.
I just encourage:
“Try again… you can do it.”
Her smile when she solves it herself is priceless.
That confidence was worth every minute of her struggle.
Scene 4: The Two-Letter Word Parents Fear — “NO”
At a toy store recently, a little girl picked up a doll.
Her mother said, “No.”
The child screamed.
The mother panicked, looked around, and finally said:
“Okay, fine… take it.”
We’ve all been there.
We’ve all given in.
We’ve all chosen peace instead of parenting.
But here’s what I’ve learned:
A child who never hears NO becomes an adult who cannot handle NO.
Parents fear the two-letter word NO more than children do.
When I started consciously saying NO, I made it simple:
“No, we don’t need this right now.”
“No, and here’s why.”
“No, we will buy next time, not today.”
No shouting.
No fear.
Just gentle firmness.
The more calmly we say NO,
the more confidently children learn to accept it.
Scene 5: Parenting in the Pressure Cooker
Parenting today feels like standing in a pressure cooker—
The whistle is constantly blowing, the heat never reducing.
Pressure to be a perfect parent.
Pressure to give everything.
Pressure to match other parents.
Pressure to keep upgrading our child.
But in this chaos, we lose four essential words:
1. Patience
Children need time.
Growth has no shortcut.
2. Comparison
No two children bloom the same way.
Comparison crushes more than it creates.
3. Acceleration
We push too much, too fast.
Kids need space to breathe.
4. Burnout
Parents burn out silently, and children absorb that tension.
When we slow down, our children grow better.
When we calm down, our children feel safer.
Scene 6: The Child Who Didn’t Need Help… Until We Started Helping
At a birthday party, I saw a small boy trying to open his lunchbox.
He struggled for a minute, then another.
Just when he was about to manage it, his mother rushed in:
“Let me do it! Why are you struggling?”
Next time… he didn’t try.
He simply handed the box to her.
That’s what overdoing does.
It teaches children:
“You can’t do it.”
“Someone will fix it for you.”
“Struggle is bad.”
But in reality,
struggle is strength.
Let them open tough boxes.
Let them tie their shoelaces slowly.
Let them pack their bags.
Let them try.
Let them fail.
Let them learn.
When they succeed on their own, their self-esteem shifts forever.
So, What Should We Do Instead?
Not too much.
Not too little.
Just enough.
Let them:
Sweat
Fall
Try
Get up
Think
Fail
Figure out
Build strength
Build stamina
Build resilience
Your love should protect them,
but not prevent them from growing.
Mom Harsha Says:
“We don’t raise strong children by removing every obstacle from their path.
We raise strong children by teaching them how to walk, stumble, get up, and keep going.
Love them deeply… but let them be.
Their strength begins where your interference ends.”
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