The Secret Energy Formula No One Told Moms About (It’s Not Coffee!)
Title: The Secret Energy Formula No One Told Moms About (It’s Not Coffee!)
Parenting is a tough and tiring job.
Not the “I had a long meeting” kind of tiring.
Not the “I didn’t sleep well” kind of exhausting.
It’s the kind of tired that sits in your bones… and still asks you to pack tiffins, attend PTA meetings, reply to office emails, wipe tears, clean spills, and smile through it all.
And somewhere between being a mother, a professional, a wife, a daughter, and a human ATM machine for school projects — I once paused and asked myself:
From where do we get the energy?
Because let’s be honest… coffee helps, but it’s not magic.
As a mom blogger, I get messages daily:
“Harsha, how do you manage everything?”
“Where do you get the patience?”
“Don’t you ever feel drained?”
Oh sweetheart… drained is my middle name some days.
But over time, I discovered something powerful. Something simple. Something that changed my motherhood journey.
The secret isn’t doing more.
It’s giving yourself ME time.
The Supermom Myth Is Exhausting
We grew up watching mothers who did everything without complaining.
We saw them sacrifice sleep, hobbies, dreams — and we thought that’s what “good mothers” do.
So when we became moms, we tried to replicate that model.
We overdid.
We overstretched.
We over-gave.
And then we wondered why we felt overwhelmed.
Let me say this clearly —
Burnout is not a badge of honor.
Being constantly exhausted does not make you a better mother.
It makes you an empty one.
And empty cups don’t pour love.
“I’m Over Everything” — The Silent Phase
There was a phase in my motherhood when I felt “over everything.”
Over the constant questions.
Over the endless mess.
Over the mental load of remembering everything.
Have you ever snapped and then felt guilty for snapping?
Have you ever hidden in the bathroom for five minutes just to breathe?
I have.
And that’s when I realized — I wasn’t angry at my kids.
I was depleted.
We often think we are losing patience.
But what we’re really losing is energy.
And energy doesn’t come from pushing harder.
It comes from pausing.
The 15-Minute Rule That Changed Me
One day, I made a decision.
No matter how busy the day is,
No matter how many chores are pending,
No matter how much work is waiting…
I will take at least 15 minutes for myself.
Just 15.
Not scrolling mindlessly.
Not replying to messages.
Not doing something “productive.”
But something just for me.
Some days it’s dancing in my room (yes, full Bollywood mode).
Some days it’s writing in silence.
Some days it’s sitting with chai and doing absolutely nothing.
And you know what happened?
I became calmer.
I became softer.
I became more patient.
Because those 15 minutes weren’t selfish.
They were survival.
Why Moms Feel Guilty Taking Breaks
Let’s talk about the guilt.
The minute we sit down, we think:
“I should fold those clothes.”
“I should prep tomorrow’s lunch.”
“I should check homework.”
The word “should” is a thief.
It steals your peace.
Somewhere we internalized that a mother resting is lazy.
But imagine this —
If your child is exhausted, do you tell them to keep working?
No. You tell them to rest.
Why don’t we extend the same compassion to ourselves?
Your children don’t need a perfect mother.
They need a regulated one.
A mother who can respond instead of react.
A mother who smiles genuinely — not through frustration.
And that starts with ME time.
ME Time Is Not Luxury. It’s Fuel.
We think spa days and vacations are “self-care.”
But self-care is much simpler than that.
It’s:
Drinking your tea while it’s still hot.
Listening to one song fully without interruption.
Taking a 10-minute walk alone.
Journaling your thoughts.
Stretching your body.
Reading two pages of a book.
Tiny pockets of restoration.
When you give yourself these moments, something magical happens.
You stop feeling like you’re drowning.
You start feeling like you’re flowing.
The Science Behind It (Yes, It’s Real!)
When you constantly function in stress mode, your body releases cortisol — the stress hormone.
High cortisol = irritation, fatigue, mood swings.
When you pause, breathe, and do something you enjoy, your brain releases dopamine and serotonin — the happy chemicals.
In simple words?
Rest literally changes your chemistry.
So when I say “ME time is your boost,” I don’t mean it poetically.
I mean it biologically.
What Happened When I Started Choosing Me
When I began protecting my 15 minutes:
I stopped shouting unnecessarily.
I listened more.
I laughed more.
I felt lighter.
And the most beautiful part?
My children noticed.
One day my child said,
“Mumma, you are happy today.”
That hit me.
Our energy shapes the home.
If we are constantly irritated, the house feels heavy.
If we are calm, the house feels safe.
So when you take ME time, you’re not just helping yourself.
You’re nurturing the emotional climate of your home.
But What If I Don’t Have Time?
I know what you’re thinking.
“Harsha, easy for you to say. I don’t have time.”
Let me lovingly challenge that.
You may not have one hour.
But you have 10 minutes.
Wake up 10 minutes earlier.
Sit in your balcony before everyone wakes up.
Lock the bathroom door and breathe.
Dance while cooking.
Listen to a podcast while folding clothes.
It’s not about finding time.
It’s about claiming it.
If we don’t prioritize ourselves, nobody else will.
A Lesson We’re Teaching Our Kids
Here’s something powerful.
When your children see you taking care of yourself:
They learn boundaries.
They learn balance.
They learn that rest is normal.
They learn that women are humans — not machines.
Especially for our daughters — we are setting the template.
And for our sons — we are shaping their understanding of partnership and respect.
When they see mom valuing herself, they grow up valuing women.
That’s not small.
That’s generational change.
You Don’t Need to Be “On” All the Time
Mothers feel pressure to be constantly available, constantly cheerful, constantly patient.
But we are humans before we are moms.
We get tired.
We get overwhelmed.
We need silence.
And that’s okay.
There is strength in saying,
“I need a break.”
There is power in saying,
“I matter too.”
My Honest Confession
There are still days I forget.
Days I run on autopilot.
Days I feel stretched thin.
But now, I catch myself sooner.
Now I pause and ask:
“Have I given myself even 15 minutes today?”
If the answer is no, I take it.
Because I’ve learned something deeply important:
A fulfilled mother raises emotionally secure children.
A drained mother raises anxiety.
And I choose fulfillment.
Not perfection.
Not overachievement.
Not constant sacrifice.
Just balance.
To Every Tired Mom Reading This
If you’re reading this while folding clothes…
Or waiting outside tuition class…
Or lying in bed after a long day…
This is your reminder.
You are doing enough.
And you deserve 15 minutes.
Not because you earned it.
Not because everything is finished.
Not because someone allowed it.
But because you are human.
ME time is not selfish.
It is your boost.
It is your reset button.
It is your quiet power.
So today, I want you to do one thing.
Block 15 minutes.
No guilt.
No justification.
No multitasking.
Just you.
Because parenting is a tough and tiring job.
And the energy you’re searching for?
It’s waiting inside those small, intentional moments with yourself.
With love,
A mom who learned that taking care of herself is the best way to take care of her children. ❤️
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